


of sweeter meanings

by Dayzaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Future Fic, Izuo - Freeform, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayzaya/pseuds/Dayzaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> It’s desperation, clinging to his words like they would if he was with her. But when around her, it’s easier. Better to handle, and he’s not sure what he would do without her anyways. They’ve always been together, as much as she was around their mutual friend, Shinra. She came during middle, and she was from Ireland. Her hair then had been long and braided nicely with a beautiful black bow and then, Shizuo thinks he fell in love.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>             Shizuo's in love with Celty, and coming to terms with a feeling he can never have returned causes him to struggle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have this posted on my tumblr, and caved in to posting this on here. Ah well.  
> The fic no one asked for where Shizuo's wanting Celty and Celty wants Shinra.

 Shizuo rocks.

          He’s moving in the motion more out of building anxiety that’s clawing at him, in a way that leaves him slightly relaxed but regardless, it’s cold sweat on his neck and his fingers are shaking even when he manages to send out a text message to his closes friend, Celty. 

      [where are you?]

  It’s desperation, clinging to his words like they would if he was with her. But when around her, it’s easier. Better to handle, and he’s not sure what he would do without her anyways. They’ve always been together, as much as she was around their mutual friend, Shinra. She came during middle, and she was from Ireland. Her hair then had been long and braided nicely with a beautiful black bow and then, Shizuo thinks he fell inlove.

    The same time as Shinra.

            But Shinra is more open, blurted out easily how much he liked her and Shizuo was left feeling more empty than anything. Nonetheless, he let’s Shinra take her hand and talk, lets Celty grow red with mutual feelings over Shinra. He figures, back then, it would be easier. To grow out of these feelings, and it blossoms into something like ugly envy when he sees them together.

    Celty’s response makes his lips tug into a frown, and he’s still shaking. Curling fingers tight over the case of his phone. [sorry i’m with shinra.] So he simply let’s his mouth curve down, let’s his shoulders fall and when he looks up the line is moving forward and he can take a step.

      It was suppose to be them both, the two of them enjoying a movie. He summoned the courage to ask Celty out, but it was more of a friendly suggestion away from Shinra, and Celty was more than happy to hang around him. Shizuo’s still anxious, and he’s not sure he wants to be here, at the movies, waiting to get tickets for a lame romance to make Celty _see_  how he felt. 

       Shinra takes her easily though; and with highschool pressuring onto him along with a temperament to match that of wild beast, Shizuo is sure that she would never like him back. It leaves him exhaling softly, leaves Shizuo feeling more empty than anxious now. Stomach still aching and his eyes feel as if they burn when his throat tightens.

               “You look pitiful.” Is what he hears, and when Shizuo glances back, there’s a girl. She’s not as pretty as Celty, more sharp angles than anything. But it’s beautiful, in a way. Her nose is curved and her mouth is set into a angle more down but it’s not a frown and her brows are arched, all natural and when she speaks again, her hand is touching Shizuo’s back and pushing him forward.

        “Really pitiful.” She repeats, blurts it out easily and then she looks back. At another girl whose face is more stoic, but it’s softer. Sweeter, and the glasses she wears only add to a certain charm. “Doesn’t he?”

      “Yeah.” Was the given retort, the brunette stepping up and it’s when Shizuo realizes he’s up at the counter; and the more colder woman is pulling out her purse. 

      “What were you going to see?” She asks, and Shizuo stutters out _wh-what_? She’s huffing out a low exhale, turning to the window and easily asking _three tickets for your name please_.

    “Wait,” Shizuo says, the other softer girl is leaning towards him and speaking-

     “My name is Kasane Kujiragi.” Shizuo's stunned, his phone is vibrating with a message from Celty, he’s sure but Kujiragi is still speaking, her eyes are cold and harsh and Shizuo’s feeling anxiety again. Deeper, makes him swallow and he’s exhaling out in the slowest way possible as Kujiragi smoothly adds; “this is an act of kindness.”

     The other woman snorts. “More like, he was taking _forever to move_.” Regardless, Shizuo glances down, his phone is bright with a message of sorry and he’s frowning again. It’s better, he thinks, to not question it. Even if the girls could be murderers; aimed to kill him once he’s inside. 

    He thinks death would be sweeter than having a broken heart.


	2. Chapter 2

 Namie is her name. Namie Yagiri and she’s as cold as Shizuo first known her as. The other woman regardless, is nicer in her own way. Likes to speak in a softer tone compared to the bitter harsh Namie takes. Kujiragi is kind in a way, when she’s sliding into a chair around the waiting area as Namie takes charge to get drinks. She doesn’t bother to ask Shizuo what he likes, it’s fine though. The ache in his chest is lessening, almost; if he can distract himself on the buttery smell of popcorn and the sounds of chatter of excited groups; and, despite a glance he can see couples. Probably on their first date, maybe another date. Maybe they are cheating, maybe they are just siblings. It’s easier to come up with lies despite how honest Shizuo is.

        Namie returns; and this time she’s holding an array of items. Soda, popcorn; there’s a few boxes of candy and Shizuo could feel the prickle of eagerness at the idea of getting some. But he doesn’t ask if it’s for him, instead watches Namie put the stuff down and she’s sliding into the chair beside Kujiragi.

       Shizuo’s phone goes off again, this time it’s louder than usual and before he can look at it, Namie is saying- “it’s rude to be on your phone when your with company.” She sounds like a mother, so Shizuo is putting his phone down on silence and uttering a sorry softer than he would use for his mother. Namie doesn’t really respond, her mouth is on a straw and she’s leaning back in her chair and sipping the cool drink. The way she does it is proper, makes Shizuo feel as if he’s the worst with manners when her brows raise.

        “Sorry.” He says again, not sure he’s used to such things. He’s only had a few friends, the rest turned away from the idea of dealing with Shizuo’s anger. Even now, social anxiety is bursting in his veins and makes his leg shake to ease the fear of _something_  going wrong.

      “You’re fine.” This time it’s Kujiragi, and she’s pushing a drink towards him. “We were suppose to meet a friend here,” She’s beginning, and Namie is glancing a sharp look at the woman but Kujiragi is ignoring it; “you looked like you could’ve used a distraction.” By friend, Shizuo instantly attaches the idea of another girl, could feel a prickle of subconscious fear clawing him. They were behind him; he figures, they could’ve read the messages. Could see the growing heartache on his face. 

     Namie is sitting up now, she’s crossing her arms atop the table, “it’s an act of kindness, must it be repeated? You see it all the time on the news.” Namie turns her head, let’s her hair shield the angle of her face and she’s huffing out a low, “I need more good karma.” And Shizuo doesn’t understand the blurt of laughter, broken off and Kujiragi is smiling in this way that shows she doesn’t smile often.

        “Thanks,” Shizuo is starting, sipping the coolness of coke; it burns his throat and he’s welcoming the distraction of not having to speak more. Namie shrugs, stiffens in a slow manner and when she’s pulling out her phone, Shizuo isn’t eager to call out hypocrisy but from the look of her face it’s something akin to importance so he keeps silent. Blinks quickly when Kujigari is offering him some of the candy, it’s still unopened, and he says _no thanks_ , stomach curling but she’s persistent. He doesn’t want to seem as if he wants everything, already grateful for the drink; but with her look of seriousness he’s shaky when he grabs the first thing he sees.

  It’s sour and sweet, he knows the feeling it would leave on his tongue. Know’s how the ache would leave him frustrated and thirsty, but he’s smiling nonetheless and sipping more of his coke. 

    “He’s cancelled.” Namie says. Sharp and standing quickly, “let’s go watch the movie.”

      “Okay.” Kujiargi responds, and when her hand is pressed ontop of Shizuo’s shoulder, she’s smiling again. Offering a soft; “enjoy the movie. An hour should help you forget.”

  He’s nodding; it’s better if he could forget. _Needs_  to forget what it feels like to suffer from a one sided affection.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been feeling so bad lately idek. u_u   
> but im slowly coming back and updating

Summer is warm.

  It’s meant to be, Shizuo thinks, though he’s sure that some summers could end up cooler than others and, regardless, he thinks maybe that would be easier to deal with when he’s not leaning against the frame of the door and waiting for Celty to move out. He thinks about the movie, about the two girls. Namie wasn’t eager to speak to him, not even while the movie played and he was pressed beside her while Kujiragi was on the other. But the other girl is nicer, and she lends her number to Shizuo with a few words of “so we may remain in contact” and Shizuo nods slowly.

     However, he’s with Celty now. Make up plans, he thinks. Shinra isn’t pestering the female to hang out with him, his father having asked of the teen to hang around home and help out with _something_  Shizuo can’t remember; and Celty had offered to hang out that day. Shizuo takes it, and he’s more content than he means to be, more excited and uneasy.

    “It’s nice to catch up.” Celty says, and her voice is tinged with an accent Shizuo knows as irish. But it’s strong and firm; and her eyes wide; jade in hue and lashes thick. Shizuo’s heart skips a beat, his mouth is parting and he’s blurting out-

    “Yeah, it’s nice to see you.”

“I’m sorry for last week.” Celty is saying, and her hands are behind her back. They are walking now; and each step of her’s is met with a swish of her hair and the curve of her lips growing when she looks over at Shizuo.

     “It’s fine.” Shizuo responds, turns to focus more on the sidewalk than the hammering of his heart and the wetness of his palms. “I met some girls there.” 

   “You did?” Celty is perking up, her eyes flicker with something he’s hasn’t seen before. He hopes, aches for the idea of it being _jealousy_  but instead she’s _laughing_  and grabbing onto his arm when she leans in close. “That’s great! Did you have fun?”

    “Yeah.” He’s saying, rougher than usual and more inclined to deny it. He did have fun, if he didn’t think about being left there; or the fact he’s not perfectly capable of handing a sort of _rejection_  unless it leaves heat jolting up his spine and the cooling down leaves his sweaty more than usual.

            “That’s really good,” Celty nods. Detaching herself, and when she stops, her hand is still on Shizuo’s arm, falling to curl heavy over his wrist and her mouth is soft. Her gaze is gentle; and everything about her screams something Shizuo doesn’t like to see. “I’m glad.”

    “I am too.” He lies, spitting out the words and he’s pulling his hand away to comb his hair back and start walking again. Shizuo doesn’t want to believe she’s seeing something in him that isn’t there; he knows he’s a good friend. Listens to her pitch her voice in annoyance when Shinra has upset her; and he’s not going to ruin it. He’s still _hoping_  for more, however. “Maybe next time,” Shizuo swallows. Glances at the girl whose walking beside him and blinking; “next time…you could meet them. Maybe you need some more girls to know.” Celty laughs than, and Shizuo’s cracking a smile regardless of the ache.


End file.
